Thursday, August 7, 2008

Late Night. Can't Sleep.

Sometimes I wish I could mend every single problem with a flick of a switch... just zap away all my worries, my troubles, my bad thoughts, wrong-doings, and live one amazing carefree lifestyle. One where I wouldn't have to worry about how much money is in my bank account, or who's judging or grading me, or how anybody could just die at any moment.

Tonight I found myself lying in bed, playing games on my phone, trying to get comfortable and fall asleep, but my mind wasn't allowing such a thing. Things such as my bank account, school, friends, travel, this society, love, and fear fluttered my mind. Funny how my intentions in life can change in a couple months. I've gone from wanting to fit in in this society--go to school, get amazing grades, get my PHd, and start a family. I find it somewhat ridiculous that if you wanna be somebody in today's society you need to attend an ivy league school and be gorgeous. In some sense, I still do want that, but I know it won't make me happy.

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I've always been told that the best way to learn something is to experience it first hand. I live through a lot of life changing events in my life. They've shaped me into the person I am now. I just wanna get out of this place, move on to a different part of the world. I wanna start my career, my passions: photography and travel. I'm tired of sitting in a classroom learning about God knows what. I want to experience first hand, that's how I want to learn. I'm tired of being told and listening to lectures about subjects that my professors haven't even experienced first hand... they're just passing on the information that people have told them--brainwashed them to believe.

For me, my passions makes me happy.

2 comments:

Jeff said...

I can't tell you how many times those exact same thoughts have run through my head....

A A said...

I wish life was that easy:)