Roommates and Boyfriends

So, here I am, sitting at my desk, staring about my lovely view of Old Main, thinking about how much my parents are paying for this room. Sometimes I wonder if it's really worth the price. I live in the newest dorms on campus, which are conveniently located right by all my classes. Sometimes I think these dorms are a little too nice. I like them, but I've already torn the paint off the walls, and I've burnt a nice big hole in my chair. Is there a reason why I find myself sitting all alone thinking about this room? Maybe. Or is the real question "why am I alone?" yeah, I'd say that could be it. Lets see here... I've got six roommates. I love with six of the Mormon girls in a five bedroom apartment. I share my room with a girl named Amber. Amber is a very pretty blond girl. She is extroverted yet introverted, and she loves to cook. All year Amber has been struggling with many relationships trying to find that perfect someone. As of last week, Amber has seems to have found Mr. Right. His name is Matt. It's kinda funny how they just fit perfectly together. They even walk the same.

Sometimes when they are together, I feel quite left out. I know how it feels to be in love, and I'm somewhat jealous... haha. If you read my first blog, you might have noticed that I mentioned I was in a relationship with a guy named James. Damn, he was wonderful. I went over to his house today to talk to him for the first time in a week. It was weird. At first we couldn't help but smile at each other, like we hadn't seen each other in a very long time. Then he sat me down on the couch and told me how he feels. He wishes we could get back together and he can start over again, take things slow, and do everything right. I just sat in silence. I kept thinking "I don't want to be with you anymore, why can't you just move on?"

When I finally left, things started to get teary. I mentioned something about starting a Facebook group for all the guys that like me ( I have stalkers...) and he kinda got upset, but I seriously think he needs to move on. He told me of his plans to move to California next fall and attend UCLA for acting. I'm proud of him.

With all my heart, I wish things could've worked out between us. We each had different goals and dreams. Sometimes is just best to let go so that person can achieve their dreams. We didn't want to hold each other down any longer. If you've ever heard the song "Hold Me Down" by Motion City Soundtrack, you'll understand exactly what we're going through, but if not, you should definitely go listen to it.

So next time you think about dating somebody, think of what is best for them, put them first in your life and make sure their dreams are coming true.

peace.